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I titled this post “Nearing the end” because I am only 1,696 words shy of reaching my 25,000 word goal.  And because I am reaching the end of any semblance of motivation for my current story.  I have been thrilled to pursue plot lines and character developments at a few points during this writing process.  But the thrill is gone.  I just want to finish this so I can move on to write the stories I want to write.

2013 Participant Camp Nanowrimo, July ChallengeThroughout this daily exercise, all that has mattered was that I was writing.  Period.  The writing didn’t have to be particularly lucid and the plot didn’t have to make sense or flow properly.  It didn’t have to have any of the things that make a book good.  It just had to exist.  And I’m grateful for that space, to be able to accept my assignment and leave most cares and concerns at the front door in the effort to strive for 25,000 words.  But I have other story ideas, real story ideas and I am anxious to get to them.  At the same time, I am concerned about what may happen when I remove the false time constraints and word count quotas.  Will I flip flop from one story idea to another and not give myself the time and a frustration-free zone to develop something of singular focus?  Will I balk at outlining a story and plot properly, a sort of self-sabotage before I even really get going?

I may need to do mini Nanowrimo-style self-imposed challenges where I focus on one story for 3-4 weeks at a time, outlining for one week, writing for three and not allow myself to move on to the next story until I’ve given the current one a four week commitment.  Can you tell I feel a massive need to figure out the mental component of the “next step”?  I just want to maintain the level of productivity that I have established this month.  This is probably just my nerves kicking in.

Do writers ever know all of their next steps?  They can’t have it all figured out, right?  Most times, if you have a good story line, the story takes on a life of its own.  I’ve heard it said from the best of writers that their masterpieces seem to write themselves.  A get-out-of-your-own-way type of thing happens if you let it.  But there has to be a certain amount of preparation and practice before this can happen, right? I suppose all I can do is finish the Nanowrimo July Challenge and then make every effort to maintain a daily writing ritual.  Despite all of the aforementioned, my confidence as a writer has increased as a side effect of Nanowrimo and that will no doubt prove handy in the months to come.

Feel free to leave a comment to this post with any tales of how your story has come alive in the past, despite your best attempts to wrangle it in another direction. 🙂