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I spent some time volunteering at an elementary school today, helping to get the classroom prepared for those bright young minds.  Literacy was the name of the game.  In my prep, I ran across a few, shall we say “interesting” book titles.

The following is an adult’s take on kid-lit:

I’m Brave.

Or just incredibly stupid.  Darwin will decide.



Follow Me.

You can help me find my teeth.



Grandpa’s House.

A fucking scary place.




Still aren’t cool.



Shut the Gate!

A polite alternative to Shut the F* Up!



My dinner.

Is disgusting.



My pet lamb.

Will beat up your pet lamb.



This is my ice cream!

This is my ice cream!  Bitch.



Going Shopping.

Let me see. Sugar?  Check.  Salt?  Check.  Bread?  Check.  Angry dinosaur parrot?  Check!




Only have one leg?  No problem!



Big and Small.

Teaching boys early that size does matter.




Shouldn’t look like this.



What’s for dinner?

Funny you should ask…